This season of my life has been confusing, to say at least.
Being a senior in high school has been one of the most stressful times of my life.
“Where are you going for college?” “What do you want to study?” In response to these questions, I can say that I have a general idea of what God is calling me to do.
But lately, I have been questioning my choices, wondering if I am doing what He wants me to do. All this has brought is worry, frustration, and distance from God. I have been over-analyzing myself because I am scared of what others will think of my choices.
Last year around this time, I was at a crossroads with making a decision. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, lost and in need of advice, I always find myself traveling to my grandparent’s house. Sitting at my grandparent’s dining room table, my grandpa pulled out his bible and said..
1st Timothy 4:12
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity”
Back then I looked at this verse as if “Oh well I am just going to do what I want and God will still love me”... did the choice work out in the end? No, it did not. During that time, I ran away from God, instead of running to Him with arms wide open.
Today I look at this verse and cherish it close to my heart.
I still have doubts in my head because I am young.
When I write, I think, “Does anyone actually care to read about this?” “Am I crazy?”
Just little thoughts in the back of my mind and I know they are all from the devil. Am I scared about college? Yes. Am I nervous to be alone? Yes. But who shall we have to fear when we have God in our hearts?
Once we start finding our identity in Christ, everything will be okay. I should not over analyze my choices because I am afraid of what others will think of me. I need to focus on tackling my fears with God’s love and faithfulness. We need to push fear away and take risks because God loves us and with Him, anything is possible.